Nearly three years ago I was walking my son in his stroller getting some fresh air during the early days of the pandemic, and it hit me:
Is this all my life is now?
Sure I was still employed, and now working from home, spending all the time in the world with my favorite little dude, but it suddenly seemed so empty.
What about those dreams I’d had before becoming a mom? I’d envisioned myself being a business owner of some sort, impacting other women and speaking on stages and traveling the world. How did my mediocre desk job that paid me more in stress than money fit into that vision? Now that I have this little human to look after, do I just put these dreams on hold for the next 18 years and hope I still have some semblance of “me” left to give?
And so began the search for more meaning in motherhood – and the More Than Just a Mom podcast was born. Over the past few years I’ve spent hours, weeks, months pouring into my own development to find a balance between chasing those dreams and still giving my kids the life I know they deserve. And now, my friend, I want to bring some of that knowledge and joy to you.
1. Empower moms to pursue their goals.
We’ve been fed this lie for so long that we need to be the perfect parent, and that means being present but not a helicopter parent, interested but not overly involved, serving only the highest quality gourmet meals three times a day – you know what I mean.
The problem becomes that in chasing this “ideal” (btw who actually wants to be that person anyway) we lose sight of who WE are as people.
I’m here to help you not just remember who you were before motherhood, but know that it’s perfectly normal to want more for your life than to fit into that neat little box.
2. Create a community of moms who want to be both present for their kids and not give up on themselves.
You’re probably thinking “It all sounds well and good, Ally, but I have 14 kids and a full-time job as a single parent and I just don’t have it in me.“
First of all, if that’s you, dang girl let’s get you some support 😜
Part of my purpose in creating this venue is to foster a community of women who are searching more meaning beyond motherhood but still want to be the best mom they possibly can – whatever that looks like.
I mean, how hard is it to do something alone versus with a friend? I know firsthand how much easier it is to talk through my issues with someone else, and even better if they’ve been there, too!
3. Help moms ditch the mom guilt when it comes to their own needs and wants.
Pursuing your own goals is not a selfish act. In fact, you’re modeling healthy behavior for your kids. Would you really want your daughter to sacrifice her dreams to do nothing more with her days than serve her children? Kinda hits different when you think of it like that.
It’s not easy to look into your child’s face as they ask for the 5879435809th time today to play hide and seek and say “sorry, bud, mommy needs to write a blog post/workout/record a podcast/whatever.”
But if you don’t set those boundaries, the line between mom and individual blurs into nothing. You become a doormat for your children’s needs while ignoring your own.
I’m not saying “mom” can’t be your identity, but let’s face it – it’s not your full story and it’s shouldn’t be if you don’t want it to!
4. Share my own struggles in parenting and balancing work and motherhood.
Over the past four years, I’ve bounced back and forth between trying to fit into my vision of the “perfect mother” and being my authentic self.
Fun fact: I’m not perfect. I’m still learning.
This journey is a process and I don’t expect anyone to have all the answers, so if that’s what you’re looking for – keep searching. But I AM human, and there are days I feel overwhelmed by trying to work full-time, raise decent humans, and still find time to “do my own thing”.
I mentioned before that it’s hard to do this alone. I hope that in sharing my own challenges and learnings, you’ll feel a sense of support and maybe even relief in knowing that it happens to other moms, too.
